The Next Step: When are you having Babies?
It is inevitable. No matter how old you are, or how new your marriage may be, the second “I Do’s” are exchanged – the questions about kids are bound to begin. It might start with your crazy Aunt Esther who never settled down herself, but before long your parents will be pressuring for grand kids and your friends will be jumping to conclusions every time you turn down a glass of wine.
The problem is you may not be ready for kids yet.
Or perhaps you are, but pregnancy isn’t happening as easily as you once thought it would. Either way, the questions and comments can quickly start to put a damper on your newly married status. If you had known that committing to your happily ever after would then make everyone in your life think they should be privy to the inner-workings of your womb, perhaps you would have done it all in secret.
Before you succumb to the desire to slap the next person who asks about babies, why not try to find a few funny ways to sidestep the question instead? After all, when it comes to procreating, the only opinion that really matters is the one you and your betrothed come up with together. Making that clear to all the uterus watchers out there can be a tongue-in-cheek mission; one that the two of you can find ways to laugh about together.
So the next time Aunt Esther walks up with her hands reaching out to your flat-as-can-be stomach, turn the question around on her instead. When she asks about your impending pregnancy, inquire about hers as well – despite how improbably such an event may be. Keep a straight face and when she gasps and guffaws, explaining that the two of you must be in the same position then, because you aren’t quite ready yet either.
When your parents start waxing poetic about grandbabies, draft up a contract for expenses from birth to college. Present it to them and explain that when they are ready to pick up the final tab (current estimates list this cost at approximately $250,000 per child) you will happily get to work on creating a grandchild just for them.
In the meantime, make sure that people know you are too busy enjoying your married life right now to be overly worried about taking the next step. Even if that isn’t entirely true and you have been trying fruitlessly for months, only those closest to you need to know the details. All the rest can get used to seeing your smiling face as you describe your latest adventures as a couple. Embrace this freedom you now have to travel together and explore the nightlife your city has to offer. Make a list of all the things which will be harder to do once you have children, and start conquering those tasks together. Present a united front to the world as you focus on yourselves and your relationship, letting everyone else know that babies could not be further from your mind.
When the time is right, you can shock them all with the announcement that your little one is on the way.
Until then though, keep the status of your baby making plans off the table for discussion by anyone who isn’t sleeping next to you at night. You’ve earned the right to spend these early stages of marriage enjoying each other, without a whole lot of care or concern for when the next step will come. Enjoy the one you are at for now instead.
And make sure the Aunt Esther’s of your life know that you are quite content being just married for at least the time being.